Earl's gotta die

So I neglected to mention the cat in my last post. The cat has been the source of much angst in our household for the last 3 or 4 weeks. You remember that place that the Bible talks about where there's weeping and gnashing of teeth? That's been our house since the cat moved in. Something had to be done. The cat's name wasn't Earl, by the way. We never really even got to the point of calling the cat anything other than "Cat," although after countless other suggestions, we finally received Bree's approval to name him Sieti, or C-A-T, or however else you want to phoneticize the word "cat". Oh yeah...creativity incarnate.

No, we didn't kill the cat. We gave it to Andrea's friend Stephanie, God bless her, as a less violent alternative. Andrea and I had dreamed about ways we could get away with killing it though. Bury it alive. Squish it in the garage door. Throw it in the dryer (that works, by the way...{insert reference to childhood experience here}). Rat poison in the food. Firecracker up the bunghole...As they say, there are many ways to skin a cat. No, I have every reason to believe that the cat is still alive. But if he continues to behave the same way at his new home that he did here, he may just turn into boxer chow before long.

Bree, of course, had a meltdown this afternoon when Stephanie took the cat away. She's over it now though. I think she was about as fed up with the cat as we were.

I know, you're probably saying to yourself that "it's just a kitten", "you didn't give it a chance," blah, blah, blah. No, you don't understand. You didn't LIVE with this cat. I'm the cat lover, and even I was ready to chunk the thing against the wall. This cat had no method of interaction that did not involve scratching and biting. The only way that I could keep him from biting my baby's toes was to let him bite mine instead. And, oh yeah, did I mention that he pooped in my sink? HE POOPED IN MY SINK! Unbelievable! He pooped in my sink. At least he aimed for the drain. Considerate of him, eh? And then he started spraying! This cat is not even old enough for his whoo-whoos to drop, but he's already spraying. Something had to be done.

On a side note, the pooping in the sink episode gave me a spiritual realization. Maybe whenever we sin, God feels like we're pooping in his sink. He's like, "Really? You just pooped in my sink?" Any of you pastors out there, feel free to add that little nugget to your repertoire. It'll go over really well with the Sunday night crowd.